♫ back to school... back to school... to prove to dad that I'm not a fool ♫
(Billy Madison, anyone?)
Well guys, I go back to college this week... and I am freaking scared. I mean, luckily this time around I give no fucks about eating alone or having no one to study with-- but I'm genuinely terrified of not being able to handle the work load on top of my lifestyle. It may not seem like much from an outside perspective, but managing WULAS, my blog, drafting my company plans, planning a huge wedding and fully designing a home, already has my plate feeling overwhelmingly full. Now let's add 50 hours/week of school and projects. It's not that I'm complaining, because I'm very fortunate for my lifestyle and I'm very excited to be going to design school. It's just that I'm scared.
Many of you may have figured this out about me, but if I can't do something 110% (or if my heart just isn't in it anymore), then I don't want any part in it. It just doesn't feel good. It feels like failure to me and it causes a trigger in my brain that will not stop until I stop it. It's something I've struggled with almost all of my life. I commonly refer to it as "perfectionism"; it's the reason my room needs to be disgustingly spotless before I can think, it's the reason I delete videos/posts that I feel aren't good enough, and it's the main reason I dropped out of college the first time around. It's a definite personality flaw that many people don't sympathize with, nor understand, but it is very real, and it makes me who I am. And I like to think that somehow it will get me places in life. It allows me to see SO many things "wrong" with this or that, which can be very draining/negative... but then again, it also allows me to see things that most people wouldn't even notice- which in turn, creates a better end-result.
Anyway- since I can't juggle it all perfectly and it just becomes too much, I'm like... peace out. I'd rather be able to FULLY focus on one or two things (and do them BRILLIANTLY), then spread myself too thin among many things and do a shit job. I consider most everything that I do to be a shit job, mostly because those things are on a schedule and I feel forced to produce SOMETHING in a timely manner (i.e. YouTube) but my career is a different story. I will have all the time in the world to prepare and I will birth something truly amazing because of it. I believe that if you choose your craft and you dedicate your whole life to it, it will be nothing short of perfection. (ex: Walt Disney, Steve Jobs)
I'm REALLY hoping that I can persevere and manage it all. My career is my dream and it is my main focus in life (other than love and having many bbs :P). I have the intention of a 4.0 GPA and kicking ass at this school. I want, no, I NEED, to gain as much from this education as possible. I have all these insane ideas for my fashion label, but I'm only willing to launch it if I have the maximum knowledge/skill required to make it as good as my vision.
It WILL be perfection, or it WILL NOT exist.
I'm so passionate about going far beyond the extra mile to produce something great. Not just something great, but something DIFFERENT and something that brings excitement to a repetitive industry. I'm going to study my craft for years. My materials will be top-knotch. My ideas will be revolutionary. I'm going to work with only the best craftsmen. I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure the best fit, for every body shape. I'm going to WORK.
Although, for as long as this has been my dream, I have had my days where I've reconsidered. Many consider this industry to be vain and materialistic, and really, they are right. So, do I really want to dedicate my life to such a thing? Isn't there MORE to life than fashion and "looking good"? Of course. And I dream about doing BIG, BIG things to improve the world. For example, I'd love to create massiveeeeee "realistic" habitats for endangered species. Maybe some day I will be able to do these things, but I still stand by my choice of pursuing fashion. Why? Here's why:
For me, for my vision, it's not just "fashion". For me, it's tangible confidence. I don't want my designs to just be "clothing". I want my designs to be special treasures. When a girl puts one on, I want her to feel SO good about herself that she is shining from the outside. I want her to reach in her closet for MY design when she's about to confront her crush, or go to speak at a special event. I want to be a part of her confidence and I want to be a part of her success.
That's why I choose fashion.
(and because it's a creative outlet that I think I will excel at :P)
Well, this has gotten long.
Good lord.
I'm going to go.
Love you all, hope you enjoyed the video! :P
Good Luck Kalel! I know you can do it <3
ReplyDeleteI admire you so much Kalel. We all know you're going to kick ass because you kick ass at everything you do. You're an absolute inspiration. Keep your chin up!
ReplyDeleteWhen you make your fashion label a reality, what's gonna really pay off is when you'll be sent pictures from different girls saying "hey Kalel, I'm wearing one of the beautiful pieces you created for my special event, and I feel WONDERFUL" in that moment, I'm positive that you'll feel you've made a difference. That's not materialistic at all. And I really hope you'll achieve those feelings in the future :)
ReplyDelete<3333
DeleteKalel T-T you're so inspirational !!! <3
DeleteI really, cannot wait for your clothing line !!! :) make an update video when it happens please
DeleteI will save my money and buy every single piece of clothing you design! <333
DeleteKalel, You inspired me to become a vegetarian. At first I had set back, but now I think I got it. But, cooking has gotten hard what recipes do you cook? Could you make a video? Also my friend who one- upped me, and went vegan asked could you do a makeup tutorial for frilly and fancy?! PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEE
DeleteYou can do it Kalel! Just remember to take some breaks from time to time to refresh your brain, other than that I know you'll able able to perfect your clothing line! You got this ;)
ReplyDeleteI almost feel as if this is inspiring because if you want something you work your ass off to get if you go kalel! And gokd luck at college! 💕
ReplyDeleteDamnit I love you
ReplyDeleteI am starting middle school and I am scared too, thank you for being a great role model and you taught me to be myself and don't care who watching, thank you and love you sooo much.!!!!!!! <3
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait to have that special outfit made by you in my closet! And I wish you luck in school Kalel
ReplyDeleteWhoa. This post just shows how passionate and willing you are to achieve your dream. Best of luck with college and everything else, I hope your life turns out exactly as you want it to. :)
ReplyDeleteLove your haul too, as usual, the clothing items you buy are always so pretty :D you inspire me!
Kalel, it might seem so hard right now to juggle all these things. But with your hard work and determination that we see you put into each of your videos/blogs/channels/etc, we know you can do it. We will ALWAYS be here to support you with whatever you do with your life. I can't wait to see what the future holds for your cute lil family and your career. Just know me and a hella ton of other people will ALWAYS support you. Hugs and kisses <3
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Kalel! It'll take hard work and sacrifices but I fully believe you can achieve your dreams.
ReplyDeleteI just love reading about all of your plans for the future Kalel! You are so bold and sure about all that you want to do with your life and I just love it! I can understand you need for perfection. For me, if I can't do something to absolute perfection, then I deem it as a waste of my time. It's extremely frustrating at times, so I can see where you are coming from. Anyways, I know you are going to do great in school. I can't wait to see all of your dreams become reality! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Paige!! <3333
DeleteGirl you are brilliant and talented but this will def be a challenge. Don't give up! It'll pay off I. The end and don't forget you always have this community here to support you. Big things coming from kalel!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it Kalel, I believe in you ^.^ I am going into my first semester of college in August, so watching WULAS will make me feel like we are doing it together :3 kick ass and take names girl! Can't wait to see all your amazing visions and dreams come true :)
ReplyDeleteGirl, you inspire me SO much! I can really relate to the whole "perfectionism" thing, but the fear of failure often paralyzes me to the point where I don't even try. You really inspire me to get off my ass and stop being scared - to go after what I want. Thanks for that. Good luck with school. I know you'll do great!
ReplyDeleteKalel, you inspire me so much! Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteI'm also starting college soon. I'm terrified, because I know I have to speak in front of a lot of people, and give lots of presentations, which is not my thing. Like, REALLY not my thing. I get nervous and terrified thinking about it. But I really want to do it, because I think it will get me further and I need it.
I love you Kalel, thank you.
First off, I had a shitty day and felt like well, shit. But after reading this post, I felt like I could do anything I wanted if I really wanted to. Kalel, I swear if you really wanted to, you could be Superwoman and no one would be surprised because you have the potential to do this. I think that being determined and knowing what you want to do are great qualities to obtain. You are an inspirational human individual and I adore you so much. I can't for that one day I will be wearing your clothes and thinking "I feel like a boss asshap bitch today! Thanks Kalel!" And I'll mean every word of it. I can't wait for the future to wear a Kalel Kitten design and feeling flawless as ever. But anyway, thank you Kalel for being inspiring and amazing and just plain Purfect! *See what I did there* Anyway, love you and goodluck -Lex xxx
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about college most of the time. It's stressful, but I hope to get something out of it eventually! It's really awesome that you're going back to school! Good luck out there!:D I love you and your blog <3
ReplyDeleteYou are one motivated young woman who can excell in almost anything as long as you set your mind & heart to it. I think it's a wonderful vision you have. To not only express yourself through fashion but to also help guide girls to confidence with your pieces. It's a unique & beautiful thing. What we all need is to feel & look beautiful inside & out & I think your creativity can shine & make it happen. Good luck, we will be here to support you every step of the way Kalel :-) I can't wait to rock your clothing line <3
ReplyDeleteDear Kalel, if you are reading this, then you got this message. YAY! I just wanted to let you and Anthony know how much you mean to me. Unfortunately, I live in Canada and could not attend Vidcon. I would have gladly waited in that line for 9 hours. Even though you wish it was different, I would take this 9 hour wait over never getting to tell you how you saved my life. I'm only sixteen, which would label me as a “Troublesome Teen" and sadly, that also means that my depression was considered as "just a phase." Due to the fact that I had no one to talk to about my illness, I contemplated taking my life numerous times. I could never follow through because I was too scared of what would follow, which I know realize as a miracle. But I was struggling and reaching my breaking point. The only thing that kept me going was to escape my life through Youtube. I started simple, with Smosh, because I had heard how hilarious the two goofballs on it were. It was awesome. Ian and Anthony put a smile on my face and brightened up my day. Through Anthony, I soon found your Wonderland Wardrobe channel, and your videos became my inspiration to follow my dreams and work on what I was truly passionate about. Your videos helped me to realize that I did have something to live for. After, when you began WULAS, my life started to piece itself together. You say that you're not worth the 9 hour wait, but I would have waited a lifetime to meet you and Anthony just to say how much you both mean to me. Maybe next year I will get to say this to you face to face, but sadly it will be VERY hard for me as I do not have much money and I wouldn't be able to afford the flight. However, since you are reading this, at least you get to hear my story. Without you, I would not have written my first song, and would not have made some of the friends I have now. My life is happier now, and it gets brighter with every video you make. It may seem odd, but you are my idol. I hope one day, I'll be as successful as you. I can't wait for your clothing line to come out, which I know won't be for a while, but I want to help you become as successful as you can be, because you deserve it girl (plus I'm sure the clothes will be fabulous and beautiful, just like you{and plus size hopefully #fatgurlproblems} ). Along with other youtubers who followed their dreams, Meghan, Joey and Shane to name a few, you and Anthony have been the primary reason that I have continued to write songs. Thanks to you I now have written my first album, and have made some amazing friends through my music. Thank you so much for caring about me, because I k now I care about you. You saved my life. I would greatly appreciate it if you passed this on to Anthony. You two are the reason I am alive. Thank you.
ReplyDelete-Kaitlin Thorne, the girl who lived
You know, I never comment much on other people's posts; I prefer to be a silent observer. But I relate so much to this post. I feel that sense of perfectionism - maybe not at the extremity you do, to be fair - and am constantly faced with the fact that most people just can't grasp it. I am currently first in my class at high school, and every time that I'm upset with myself over a test grade - even as high as a 98! - people just tell me that I'm selfish, that other people are struggling with much worse grades, that no one expects that much of me. But that's the thing - I just expect it from myself. Most of the time, it's so, so crippling to me, and I end up totally freaking out as I slave away over some tri-fold board that no one will remember in a month, or, hell, a week. Like you said, this makes it ten times harder to handle multiple things at once, and I find myself sacrificing things that are important to me (my creative writing) just to do one thing (school) perfectly. I like to view it the same way as you do, though, and see it as an advantage that will get me so far in life down the road.
ReplyDeleteAlso, like you, I want to enter a creative industry, but I want to write. And with writing, too, I think I really want whatever I publish to be perfect, even though the reality of it is that I can only get close, and even when I recognize this, I still can't get myself to stop thinking "perfect, perfect, perfect."
Anyway, there isn't much of a point to this comment, because I don't have any sage advice of how to deal with it, outside of, you know, "Deal with it." But I've followed your tweets and you said you wanted to help people, so I want to show to you that you have helped me! I find the utmost comfort in relating to people because I have a hard time doing it, especially when it concerns my "career." (In quotations because I consider school my temporary career.) So, thank you, for being a relatable and admirable person. I look forward to wearing your designs! I wish you the best of luck in school and all of your endeavors. :)
Well, this has gotten long.
Good lord.
I'm going to go.
(Ha, ha.)
Kalel I really believe that you can make it through al the hard work get to your perfection level. Im starting higschool in September and Im seriously terrified too. I just reeallyyy hope you get that clothing line you dreamed of
ReplyDeleteWith this post i remember why i love you. You are such a lovely person and you are the kind of person i want and need as a friend.
ReplyDeleteI wish that your clothinf line become truth Nd i'll be honored to own one of your creation. I love your style and you are such an inspiration for me.
And i want to let you know.. I know you habe to deal with lot of haters on twitter and they are just jealous of you. Keep your beautiful smile and stay strong.
Hi Kalel,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the fact that you don't see pursuing a career in fashion as vain, but instead as helping girls become more confident. I've never heard an aspiring designer or even a high profile designer say that's why they got into fashion. I think I speak for every teenage girl who looks to you as an inspiration when I say thank you for being so real about your dream.
I know that juggling a heavy workload and a lifestyle like yours is hard but if anyone in this world can do it, you can. I believe in you and so does everyone else who looks up to you. I know you can do it.
I'm cheering you on from a distance. GO KALEL
Thank you for chasing your dream.
And thank you for being so inspiring.
Much Love,
Chelsea
Omigosh! You are so freaking inspirational and I wanted to tell you that I love how you defended your passion! I agree that people don't often look past the material to the deeper meaning behind something. I believe that you will most definitely succeed in life girl! I for one can't wait to see what you come up with.
ReplyDeleteThe best of luck and God bless,
Julia
Kalel,
ReplyDeleteThank you for chasing your dreams! You continue to inspire me every day!
I hope that I can have the same bravery and passion as you when chasing my dreams.
Wow, Kalel! I have never seen fashion from that perspective, and that is a completely different take - I absolutely ADMIRE your perseverance and your utter determination to pursue fashion in not only a materialistic/creative outlet, but also in a manner that HELPS people, which is something that modern society lacks nowadays from individuals - SYMPATHY and EMPATHY. This is truly inspiring and I cheer you on in your quest to produce your own fashion label.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing: if something gets to be too much that it's causing you too much strain (i.e. WULAS), don't force yourself to produce something that you know you will not be satisfied with. It's okay if you upload once a week/two weeks, if you let people know in advance. College is such an important thing for you right now, as well as your wedding and your career. Set your priorities in the best manner possible and push on! I know you can do it!
Love you, and you are amazing and inspiring.
Maleny
Kalel, you seem very intelligent and attentive. I love/appreciate your optimism and have high fucking hopes for you, girl. I love WULAS as much as the next person, although, you seem very dedicated to your career and personal life. I completely understand why you would need to push aside the vlogs for a while. You have my support 100%.
ReplyDeleteWow! Kalel, I know exactly how overwhelming it can be going to school full time and working full time, but I believe you're driven enough to make it all work out.
ReplyDeleteI admire your passion for your work, and your large goals. I did have one question though: as a prospective business owner and a modern clothing designers I want to ask about whether or not you've given much though into the "plus sized" realm of the clothing industry? I know it's pretty early in your growing career but as a "plus sized" fan of yours (and prospective consumer at that) I thought it would be worth asking!
Best wishes!!
I'm the same way but I find that I used my "perfectionism" as justification to quit projects without seeing them through (which kept me from achieving what I want). Just realize that finishing something is an accomplishment in itself and that perfection does not exist; it is all in your head.
ReplyDeleteWith that being said, I wish you the best of luck and really hope you see this through. After all, I do want to wear one of your designs one day :)
I absolutely LOVED this post! With everything a side about your million jobs this one project I am the most excited for! I am most excited because with the inspiration and happiness you bring me just through a computer screen is over the top and to know that you want to produce something for your viewers to feel confident in is outstanding! I know you think your perfectionism is a flaw but it makes you the person I aspire to be. So don't give up on your dream, and if that means we have to miss a couple weeks of vlogs or f+f then that's ok because I know that if your the one doing it the final result of your product is going to be excellent! Good luck in school!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Jessica
I know that you can do it! You're so talented and committed. We understand if you need to post less or upload videos less during this time at school. YOU COME FIRST :)
ReplyDeleteYou're going to do great I believe in you! :) I totally understand how you're feeling starting a new chapter in your life is scary. But once you start you realize you made the right choice. I'm graduating next year I'm I was terrified about it I'm still a little scared, but I realized I'm also excited and I'm going to be doing something I love. It's worth it. So follow your dreams and keep doing you! :)
ReplyDeleteIf your fashion career is truly this important to you then maybe you need to drop YouTube or at least one of your channels. Be realistic. I'm finishing up my degree in design at the moment and had to drop a lot of hobbies that I never thought I would. I have no regrets though. I can pursue those things again later in life.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck! x
This posts speaks to me on such a different level. I'm starting my second year in college, and I used to be so worried about not living up to the expectations that I set for myself in my head. Last semester I had a 3.8 GPA, and I literally felt like a failure, I wanted to drop out and never return because I felt like I had messed up so bad by not getting straight A's. I felt like absolute shit for about a month until I had experienced some "enlightenment" after speaking to an old friend of mine. My companion told me that I need to stop focusing on mistakes, and that at the end of the day perfection is a curse. We all strive for it but it can truly never be obtained. There will always be things that will mess up that can't be fixed, and dwelling on mistakes will trap you in the past. I know it's been said 1,000,000; but sometimes you have to move on. You have to except that nothing will ever work out 100% perfectly and that's ok. Things aren't supposed to be perfect, there should be flaws and little mistakes in everything we do because perfection isn't reality. After I realized this, I decided to stay enrolled in college, and it's honestly been the best decision of my life so far. I feel like I have weights lifted off my shoulders now that I realize not being perfect is ok, and I really hope you can take what I'm writing into consideration. I adore your personality, I love your sincerity, and I envy your confidence; so I want you to know that your posts, videos, and entire online presence has really helped me discover myself. But now I hope you can read what I'm trying to convey, and maybe try to rethink of how you view perfection, because I'm really worried that you'll end up unhappy with yourself due to the perfect standards you're setting up. I still loved this post by the way, but I hope my input can add another perspective to it. I hope you're having a wonderful day, and have a blessed evening :)
ReplyDelete~ Shanice <3
Thank you so much, Shanice. It can be quite a struggle at time, but one thing that has really seemed to help me, is to create "perfect exceptions". For instance, I always used to think my room needed to be SO clean that it didn't look lived in; like a fresh hotel room. But then, I begin to tell myself that if it looked "clean, but also 'perfectly' lived in" it would be MORE perfect than being freakishly clean. HAHAHA. That probably makes me sound crazy, but it has truly worked and taken some stress away from me :P
Deletekalel,
ReplyDeletebe yourself. never give up. and you will succeed.
good lucky (: you inspire many.
xoxo
afaithinfashion.blogspot.com
Love love love this post and the video! You really do inspire me so thankyou! x
ReplyDeletehttp://nevaeh-leigh.blogspot.co.uk/
Loved this post Kalel!
ReplyDeleteYou always make me giggle!
You would love Typo if you came to Australia we has big stores full of amazing things that would be staples for your house!! I find it hard to go in there because budgeting is not an option once you've been drown into the world of pretties!
Have a great time at school you are going to do amazingly!
xo Holly xo
Kalel, you are a truly beautiful person inside and out. Your attitude and perspective on life is seriously inspiring and amazing. You are a great role model, and I wish you nothing but the best with your present and future endeavors. And just so you know, I am SO going to buy your clothes and wear the shit out of them one day.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :)
DeleteYou are a true inspiration to me Kalel because you are striving to make your dreams come true. I know that when your dreams have come true, I will be buying and wearing the clothes that you have designed like their is no tommorow, because not only do I know that I will love the clothes because I love your style and all things girly chic but also from knowing that my idol has achieved her dreams and had designed the clothes that I am wearing at that very moment, and I can not wait! xx
ReplyDelete<3333
DeleteLoved the video and this post, you're so inspiring and such an amazing person Kalel! :) Good luck, you will go far and I can't wait for what you're going to create in the future! Xx
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to let you know that you are a huge inspiration for me. I can relate to the perfectionism thing. I have a problem where if I can't do something how I envision it I won't do it at all. I then feel horrible with myself because I don't do anything then and its basically a never ending cycle. But watching you and Anthony makes me want to try and do great things, even if I do fail. You guys make following my dreams seem so much more plausible and realistic and I'd just really love to thank you guys for that.
ReplyDeleteLove you good luck at college i can't wait to buy your stuff and know that one day you will get it perfect ❤️🐱❤️
ReplyDeleteAs a fashion student myself, Iam working pt and on some semester I decided to take another course on top of my 4 main courses. On top of this, I only see my bf for less than a day when I made free time and also coordinating with his schedule. And on top of THAT I had little time to hang out with my friends.I would just to let you know that i had so much difficulty perfecting my projects that i handed in satisfactory project imo. I am also a perfectionist like you but on a lower level bc I learned to just let go of smaller things to juggle everything in my life. I am slightly scared for what you are about to handle during your semester bc it's the semester that you will acquire a LOT of info and learning/ practicing skills. A lot of classmates had difficulty taking everything in during the semester on top ofwork and everything.I with you best of luck handling eeverything.
ReplyDeleteGirl, I can only imagine. I am so scared. But trying to be positive :)
DeleteI really like your post right now. :) It is awfully inspiring and I am so happy you are finally accepting yourself and moving on. I wish you the best for your dreams and I can't wait to see your works :D
ReplyDeletep.s. I really do like this post. Don't delete it, okay?
Good Luck Kalel, I understand a little about the new chapter thing but It's something that I can only dream of right now
ReplyDeleteI must say, it's incredibly refreshing to hear such a unique perspective around fashion. I love that you view it as more than just vain materialism, and your desire to inspire confidence and help others rather than just make a profit is a trait that more people need to exhibit. Your intelligence, brilliant work ethic, and creativity will take you far - I look forward to seeing how you progress. You are an absolute role model, and I wish you the very best with your endeavours.
ReplyDeletexo
Thank you :)
DeleteKalel, you can do ANYTHING you want and hope for, if you really step your mind to it. Come, it's you. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteBut really, I am SO excited for you, this is something, I think everyone can agree on this, something that you can TRULY do. But I feel like everything you're going to be trying to achieve, will be way too much for you. I think you should consider quitting YouTube or at least pausing if and when other projects are over-flowing. You shouldn't be worried about us, you have some loyal followers. We get even more happy when we see you happy. Everyone here would understand and are rooting for you!
Love you!
I love long posts coming from your heart! Because it clearly came from inside. I actually understand how you feel about doing perfect job, but don't be afraid to make mistakes! And don't try to erase them! They are good reminders. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry, I'm sure you're going to be an awesome designer.
I teared up and actually started crying when you were explaining why you chose fashion... I know exactly where you're coming from, believe me when I say that my respect level for you went for you has risen so much (not that I didn't respect you to begin with) my entire life I've been told to follow my dream, and I have, but recently I've zero support from anyone... I want to become an actress, and preform in the theatre, but everyone around me is saying I'll never make, I need a "real" career, and that if I go off somewhere else for collage that I'm neglecting my family and leaving them behind like I don't care about them anymore... But whenever they say stuff like that I think back to when my grandmother was still alive, and how she always took my hand and looked me in the eye and said, "Dara, don't you ever let someone stand in the way of you achieving your dreams, no matter what they say... don't let society tell you what's right and what's wrong, only you can make that decision." ... I just want you to know how much of a role model you've been to kalel, and how much you've influenced me... Thank you so so much :')
ReplyDeleteYou're too sweet. Thank you so much <3333
Deletewhen do your house plans need to be finished? love u btw
ReplyDeleteI have about a year before it will be complete, but there are specific deadlines along the way. Then once it is built, I must customize the inside >_< hahaha <3
DeleteDo you think that maybe you might have mild OCPD? As someone who has both OCD and OCPD I can relate to what you're talking about...it's a frustrating perfectionism that at times seems helpful, but can also interfere with whatever task you're doing because it makes you feel like it has to be done to an exaggerated degree of perfection. I also can't do or work on things that i feel i don't have my heart in - it becomes exaggeratedly difficult, like almost soul-draining.
ReplyDeleteI also tried the FIDM thing, but decided on another creative path. I know going back to school is hard, but don't be too harsh on yourself. Best of luck!
Hey Kalel! I just wanted you to know, don't try to stress out too much over this stuff! I know it can be hard not to, but just so you know I've watched other youtubers that go to FIDM, and it's not something to stress yourself out over. The core classes like math are on like an elementary level, so most of your focus will be on your design class assignments, like drawing color wheels and making power points on Rihanna. But with that in mind, I know you already have a lot on your plate as is, from filming yourself eat, filming yourself drive, filming your cats and editing it into a vlog to begin with. And then you have to draw pictures for your company and write entries online, gurl you probably don't even know what relaxation is! And I couldn't even imagine single handedly planning a wedding and designing a home! You need to tell Anthony to help, it's his wedding too! (Will it be his house too?) I know you're a perfectionist so you probably want to be in charge of it all, but I really suggest hiring a wedding planner. It could help ease some of your stress, and you would still be in charge. Plus it could give you more time to plan the house, (sofa or loveseat, brown or black leather?...and thats just one seat!) Anyway I hope you can find a way to manage your very full plate this time around.
ReplyDeleteBye Kalel Kitten! <3 <3 <3 <3
I'm having trouble deciding if you're trolling or not... HAHAHA :P But honestly, the design program for FIDM is VERY time-consuming and a lot more than "drawing color wheels". You sew complex garments. And no matter how you spin it, that takes a lot of time and skill. And yes, maybe vlogging isn't the world's most difficult task, but it does take about 2-3 hours out of each day to edit/upload. Building a business plan for a company is MUCH more than "drawing pictures". It's logistics and there are thousands of aspects that must be figured out/planned accordingly. It usually takes successful people YEARS to build a proper business plan. And yes FULLY planning the construction of a home and designing the inside is a VERY fun, but time-consuming job. I anticipate spending about 1000+ hours on it. Last but not least, the wedding. Maybe some women only spend 100 hours planning a wedding, but I am much more involved than that. And when you see the wedding video, you will understand why it took me so long.
DeleteBye Anonymous!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
Good Luck Kalel! I hope you achieve your goal :)
ReplyDeleteKalel school isn't that bad just push through it and you'll get a shiny piece of paper that you can hang on the wall!
ReplyDeletehttp://ltntv.blogspot.ca/
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone I suffer from perfectionism too lol.
It sucks because it can be so time consuming
Like I'll spend legit 8+ hours (in one sitting) just working on a project because I want it to be perfect. I cringe every time the professor tells us to do a group project because I know there are some people that won't do their part of the job; or will slack off and do it on the last minute. I dread/despise group projects because I'm usually the one that does the whole project or the most work because I find that I don't like the way other people produce their work (like science fair boards) I have to be the one that puts it together; cause I find so many mistakes.
Perfectionism is killer and the reason why I take so long in what I'm doing lol.
YES!!! Group projects are the worst things in the world. I just CANNOT.
Deleteso true! a lot of my teachers get bothered by that but i just can't help it. :)
DeleteI feel the same way!!! :)
DeleteI'm sure you will do it great Kalel, since you are the beeest, haha :'3 <3
ReplyDeleteGood luck Kalel! I think you'll do fine. I mean I'm still getting the grades I want. And I'm currently working two jobs on to of that. Just make sure to take care of yourself. And that if you need a little break from something then take it.
ReplyDeletehttp://emilymaiko.blogspot.com/
Can't wait until one day I'm reaching into my closet and picking out your brand. We're cheering for you Kalel, keep on creating. : )
ReplyDeleteOmg Kalel, you're such an inspiring person. I could NEVER deal with so much stress & work as you do every single day! Vlogging seems like so much work and responsibilities! But you, GIIIIIRL , you just work it! This post gave me so much strength to just keep going with my own studies and WORK (snap) WORK (snap) WORK (snap). Everything you do, you do perfectly. It's amazing. I'm a huge fan of you, gu..Kalel. Love you, Girl. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you talked about the materialism that sometimes crops up in the fashion industry, because I feel like it's very much the same with beauty. I'm thinking about going to FIT for Beauty Industry Marketing and Merchandising, and I have a few specific reasons why I want to be involved in that field (I would love to be a part of making girls/women feel confident). It's nice to hear that there are other people pursuing dreams in industries that produce consumer goods for the right reasons.
ReplyDeleteI've also struggled with making healthy choices regarding my workload. I'm much the same with my own perfectionism, and although it doesn't play out the same way in high school, I've made a lot of decisions with my course load (deciding to take just one AP so that I can participate in all of the other activities that I want to and keep up with my blog) that my friends haven't. If I don't feel like I have the time to complete all of my tasks to my tastes, I feel stifled and overwhelmed. I have a better learning experience and get more out of my courses if I have time to really think about and process the information rather than just trying to memorize it.
It's hard to make decisions that other people close to me don't understand, but it's nice to know that there are other people out there who feel the same way that I do about these things.
Gah, I HATE group projects, too! It always feels like I could do it better at home away from everyone else in my group. Most of the time I assign parts, but I end up re-doing everything most of the time. Especially if it is assigned groups. Bleh.
ReplyDeleteAnd I had a teacher who straight up told me I "suffered from extreme perfectionism". (like I didn't know that already) I asked for extra time on a poster that was supposed to be a one day in-class project. Of course, I came in the next day with it done and done with glitter, but that's 'perfectionism'.
Love your style, btw, Kalel! I would definetely wear your brand! :)
I sincerely don't know how you can handle this (I mean, being a perfectionist). I am one too and my life has been so disappointing lately, I can't seem to get over it. I feel like I'm at the wrong place, wrong college, that I could/should do so much more >:
ReplyDeleteI wish I had all the confidence that you have. Where do you get it from? Btw, you are awesome!!! Good luck with your projects :3
I honestly would get so upset when you'd delete past videos, because literally i could watch them over and over again, especially your DIY or cooking ones you use to do. I know you had always said you were a perfectionist, but i suppose i didn't truly get it until reading this post of you explaining the depth of it. I can understand now on a better level. So, I apologize for getting upset when you'd delete posts/videos.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason you explained for wanting to go into fashion is very commendable, and i get that now, too. I can relate. I went to school for culinary arts, I love baking and cooking, and i am only a server right now (I like the fast cash in hand) but I too want to do something of greater good to make a difference in someone's life. I have yet to decide if I want to go back to school to become a University pastry professor or Nursing ( i'd want to be an ER nurse). I am so conflicted, wither way though I want to make a difference in people's lives.
With fashion, I admire that you want to be a part of what makes a woman confident, because a lot of women are not confident, and it takes a lot to make them confident.
Kalel, just so you know, you CAN get help for the way you are feeling. I'm not saying you have OCD, which obviously if anybody has a mental disorder it's nothing to be ashamed of, but you could have OCD tendencies or another anxiety disorder that makes you feel like you have to be perfect 110%. As a sufferer of generalized anxiety disorder + panic attacks myself, I can tell you that there are always ways to help. At first it was really scary for me to admit I had a problem and go to my doctor to talk it out, in fact the first time I went I ended up nearly shitting my pants and he just wrote me the number to a counseler and told me nothing was wrong, and I believed that for a long time, never even bothering to go to the counseler.
ReplyDeleteBut, eventually, I got my shit together and forced myself to explain to him how I felt, and I got a prescription for some SSRI's and a sedative for panic attacks.
There is a LOT of stigma around anxiety, but there really shouldn't be, it's nothing to be ashamed of. :)
Cheers!
Good luck Kalel you can do it!!!! I love you so much, you're my biggest inspiration! I wanna be a fashion designer to and I can't wait to wear your label! Love you XOXO
ReplyDeleteOh and BTW what college do you go to?
I wish you all the luck in the world with your fashion and I am so excited for you! I saw your vlog from your first day to school and the school looks sooo cool! I'm sure you'll be fine though. I just finished getting my Associates degree in Graphic Design and I had a lot of fun and miss my design gang, but I know what it feels like to be scared of the work and things to come. Everyday I would get so anxious for my classes, even if I already had been going for a month. Critiques are what got me the most and some of the professors. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing, or sounding dumb when talking about someone else's work. Towards the end of my school year I definitely got more confident but I had wish I could've been one of those people who always had something to say more times than not. Deep breaths, a lot of tumblr, and anime watching plus watching you and others on youtubers definitely help get me through the 3 years I was in college. Also my friends and family were always there to support too, but college can really take a lot out of a person. I was stressed even when I thought I wasn't. Time has a way for flashing by though, and before you know it you're graduating. I believe you can make your dream come true, and I will always support!! :D
ReplyDeleteAlso I totally feel the same way you feel about fashion, but not only fashion but design too. I really want my art to be out their to inspire, or make someone feel more independent or confident about who they are. Because not only fashion, but any design or art gives someone personality that is unique to them. It is a way to express an emotion of a time we love now, in the past or how we want to be/feel in the future. They are happy-feel-goods and make us smile when we look at it, wear it or use it. The things that make us happy are what keeps us going in life. And yeah they may just be things, but these "things" make us who we are. And to be apart of making/designing the things that make a person feel that is a rewarding happy-feel-good emotion for us too! ^^ But first I too want to know all I can, and be innovative and have dynamic designs and bring something different to the table. Hey if you ever need some help in the future with your company, I would 1000% be apart of your team!!! ;) Well I hope your first week is going well!! Thanks for sharing everything and showing all that cute stuff you got! For reals diggin the casually chic clothing that looks effortlessly cute!
Love ya Kalel. Can't wait to see more videos.
ReplyDeleteI agreed with most of what you were saying until you said fashion was a 'repetitive' industry. Girl did you even see the Alexander Wang and Chanel FWs, or do you just not pay attention?
ReplyDeleteWhen I said fashion is repetitive, I mean ATTAINABLE fashion. The majority of people aren't walking around in Alexander Wang or Chanel, hahah :P
DeleteSo does that mean you will be working on attainable fashion? That would be awesome. My uncle (Rolando Santana) is also a fashion designer but he produces high end and very expensive clotHong. It's all very beautiful (you should check it out) but it's difficult to show support by wearing his clothing. But I'm excited to see what you design and will support you any way I can. You are truly an inspiration ~Jade S.
DeleteAww Kalel!! I am so proud of you for going with your dreams. You are such an inspiration to me and to many others. I cannot wait until you launch your designs. Hopefully I'll wear them one day. :)
ReplyDeleteawesome i love your hauls
ReplyDeletekeep up the good work
I totally adore anyone who appreciates stationary and school supplies as much as I do.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say that you have easily become my favorite youtuber out there. I love your personality, your determination and dedication. You and Anthony are wonderful for each other and I always enjoy having a WULAS and F+F mini marathon when I have a bad day (or simply just bored).
ReplyDeleteI am always checking your blog for any new updates and I seriously wish I had your closet. Like ugh! Your style is adorable and I want all of it haha. I know you may seem stressed out about all you have on your ever growing to-do list but I can tell that you have a fire in you that always helps you power through all you need to do. You talk about the motivation of having a young girl being courageous because she is in your designs, just know that when they come out that you will also have a 20-something who will be feeling fierce rocking your clothes. :)
But stepping aside from how much I adore you, I keep trying to find items from your haul and when I go to the websites I can never find them! This one is driving me nuts. I want to find two of the Abercrombie cardigans. The very first one (the white with the lace panel in the back) and the last one (floral one and I think it had a hood. You called it a rug). I have searched the entire website and can't find them anywhere! :'( If there is any way you could help I would love you forever and a day!
Much love and hoping that you go so so far in life <3
Savannah cat breeding is an extremely cruel practice
ReplyDelete"breeding is initially attempted by placing a domestic female with a serval male. The hope is that the serval will impregnate the female, but he often kills her instead"
"Miscarriages, stillbirths, and C-sections are the norm, as are high juvenile mortality rates and high instances of sterility. This is unsurprising since these cats aren’t even in the same genus. They’re genetically incompatible, possessing biological differences in size, gestation periods, and sex chromosomes that should make it impossible to breed them successfully. Indeed, it’s almost impossible to breed savannahs successfully, but it succeeds just enough to motivate more attempts."
" People are unnaturally breeding “desirable” cats like savannahs while millions of unwanted domestic cats are euthanized annually, and millions more suffer without adequate food, shelter, or medical care."
"The most troubling thing to me is that all of this is conducted purely for the amusement of people. Savannahs have no benefit to humanity other than the fact that people want them."
"While savannahs certainly seem like nice cats, the cost of creating them seems rather horrific. Is it worth intentionally creating piles of dead cats and kittens in an attempt to create a single savannah cat? Is it worth allowing unwanted domestics to be euthanized so you can instead have the latest and coolest cat breed to show off to your friends? Is it worth the cost of enhancing the fitness of feral cats? To breeders and purchasers of these cats, the answer is apparently “yes.”"
Quoted from "Savannah cat breeding is inherently unethical" by Jeremy Sells.
That breeding practice is only to produce F1 generations. I would never purchase an F1. My cats are F3s, which means two Savannahs gave birth to them, NOT a serval and a domestic cat.
DeleteKalel,
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college, I had multiple professors give me Bs when they thought I was working too hard. It was the most frustrating and confusing grading system I felt like a victim to. I hope you don't suffer the same fate.
I still made the Dean's List. Then I started a relationship. I was so focused on maintaining that relationship that I lost sight of my own, personal goals. I put my boyfriend and my friends before me.
Because of that, it took me double the amount of time I anticipated to graduate. I'm only a few months from you in age and finally graduated last semester without taking any breaks. I didn't graduate with a GPA reflecting my intelligence.
Please understand that your WULAS subscribers and frilly + fancy followers will forgive you when you need to focus on yourself. We won't be upset if we don't see a daily vlog. We would much rather know you're taking care of yourself rather than seeing you hella stressed in your videos, worrying about how you're going to handle your fast-paced lifestyle. It's great that you give us reasons for being absent, but don't feel like you owe them to us.
I can't wait to see what ideas you come up with. Even though my taste in clothing differs from yours, I would absolutely love to see your creations!
Lots of love,
Leah
I love your halls !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhoop whoop! Really admiring the #GirlPower in this post and knowledge is power post! Looking forward to seeing what design school is like and I'm really hoping you post a few vegan recipes! ♥
ReplyDeleteHi Kalel,
ReplyDeleteI don't know where to start. I was thinking about posting something to you since quite a while but I hesitated. And maybe you won't even read it (because 1/ it's not that interesting 2/ I speak terrible english with many mistake) but YOLO ! :P
I decovered you (and anthony and smosh by the way) by watching a CutiePie video in which she was opening a gift box from you. So I went on your chanel and watched you vlogging and I had to say, I didn't really understood the purpose behind this at first sight. But I looked other of your video (especially those with Buki and then after Pip ) and I finnally found it not only entertainning but also interesting and educating (? is this the word?) for me. I discovered that americans were actually normal people, even the youtubers. :P
Your way of life is very inspirationnal on many sides. I watched the video adout the violence against the animals and all the video linked with. I was aware that horrible things were happening but i also discovered some news. That really horrible but as much as i would like to change it don't really see a non utopical way to do it. How an average person with not many money and who doesn't want to be vegan can change anything? Where I live (in France) for an average student as i am, if we want to eat meat (or animal proteins eggs ect...) at least once a week you have a little choice AND you KNOW that the animal did NOT have a happy free life. I'd like to have your point a view on this. :)
Aside this sad subject, I admire you for your determination. You're so true and so... kind of sure about your future! I envy you! I'm studiying CG art and I'm always doubting about myself. Am I making the right choices? Will they like it? And top of that my school is a very competitive one (is this word existing in english ?? Lame...) it's so stressful and exhausting. I assume you're doubting sometimes, you're human but, at least in your video, you seem confident and I for me and for many other i'm sure, it's rassuring. (???words... (U.U) .) I'm thinking "If she can, maybe I can!!" By the ways , have you already an idea of what your fashion compagny (I'm not sure if that what you're studying and intend to create... Forgive me please if i'm wrong! :X ) Will it be dresses, sportwear, casual?? I'm curious.
And that all I had to say! Hope I didnt bother you and If you don't reply, I wish you the best for your studies, your marriage, your futur babies and your future cat ! :) <3 Thank you for what you are! :D
Julie from Lille (FRANCE)
I don't know at whiwh time you'll have this message! Here in France it's 22h22 ! :P or 10.22 PM i(think in an american way. See ya! :D
Good luck on your new school hahah, probably in your next week you'll already be their queen. lol, just try to enjoy it as much as you can :)
ReplyDeleteat the end of the day fashion is just fashion. No way around it. There's no need to make it something it is not. Also perfectionism is also an excluse, because giving up is always easier than forcing yourself to complete things.
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing! School doesn't start till over a month for me.. I might start in 2 weeks or so :)
ReplyDeletehttp://jennoshealth.blogspot.ie/
Dear Kalel, I just wanted to tell you how much of an inspiration you are. You've made me rethink my life as a whole. Every time I watch one of your vlogs I get the overwhelming urge to clean my house, I've never lived in such a clean environment! And I also get the urge to spend time with my friends and work at my job. Because I see that you have neither and aren't happy. I don't want to be anything like you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!!!!!
I hope you read this Kalel! <3 I hope your doing fantastic today because i do understand all your stress! All ive been doing these last couple of days is researching all vegan/vegtarian facts and such after watching your video which i totally balled in. I saw horrible pictures and videos on the internet. It was non stop sobbing in complete terror and discust of this world. I thought i could be a vegan but that is very hard for me but this is my second day being a vegetarian and i will hopefully stay vegetarian and maybe even vegan for the rest of my life. On the other note i cant wait for your fashion line to come out and be amazing! I totally believe in you all the way. I watched all of your videos for your youtube channel Wulas and i love you!!! I think you and Anthony are the cutest couple ever. I hope you read this, hope your fashion career goes perfectly, hope buki and pip are doing ok, hope anthony and you will always love eachother, and hope that you will have some time to relax and plan for the wedding!!! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteLove you!!!
ReplyDeleteKalel, you could be a model! I love your clothe choice!
ReplyDeleteHey Kalel, I was wonder what classes you were taking, I go to a design school and I'm taking a lot of different design classes as well as marketing. This will be my second semester and I love it with all my heart, I also worked for Disney and I'm hoping to pursue a career there in the future. If you ever need help with anything, either pertaining to your classes or your fashion label let me know : ) I'm excited about the wonderful
ReplyDeleteHi Kalel! I'm Brenda, from Argentina. I know this is not the "Knowledge is power" post but I just wanted to comment somewhere about that topic. I don't have a youtube or twitter account so I decided to write to you here.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I wanted to say that I'm impressed by your strong opinion about animals and their rights, I admire you for putting your deepest feelings in front of a camera and millions of people, despite all the comments you might get.
I feel so identified with the things you said. I don't understand how the majority of the world thinks about animal life, it's like the human race thinks it's the only race on the planet and it's totally okay to kill or do whatever they want with any other living species for selfish reasons. I could speak about this for hours but what I really wanted to say is that I wish for more people to think like you, or at least to realize what's really happening in our world, right now. With the video you made a couple of days ago I'm sure you helped a lot of people to take conscience about this. I can see you really want a change, I want it too, and you don't just sit there waiting to happen, you made something, and you are making something. You choose to not keep your eyes close and I think that's admirable of you! I support you in whatever plan you decide to do for this change.
That's all, sorry if my english wasn't so good, thanks for reading and kisses from Argentina!
"The first one says, I CAN AND I WILL." I was like "Ooooo girl, sass." XD
ReplyDelete- A fellow kitty lover :3
I predict you'll drop out in a month.
ReplyDelete